Uncategorized 6:00 pm
Found a great Q/A in Smithsonian magazine about nonverbal communication – all about Madeleine Albright and what the jewelry she chose communicated about her politics 
Read My Pins: The Madeleine Albright Collection is now on display at the Smithsonian
Here’s the link http://j.mp/dneIKy
Uncategorized coffee shop, communication, couple, eavesdropping, relationship 5:51 pm
There was a middle-aged couple sitting at a table next to me in a coffee shop. Guy had a newspaper, Gal was flipping through a magazine. Every once in awhile, they would comment on something that one of them was reading, but for the most part, the exchange was limited. At one point, Gal put the magazine down and said something like “oh, do you know what I forget to tell you?”. I’m paraphrasing here since I could hear most of what they were saying, but not every word. Guy asked what and they had a conversation about someone they knew starting a new job and the circumstances surrounding the new position. Here’s how it went (again paraphrased) -
Guy: No, what?
Gal: Remember, Sarah from-?
Guy:Yeah, why?
Gal: Well, she was working at- (Guy nods before gal says the place)
Gal: Well, she was-(Guy nods before gal says anything else)
Gal: So now she has a new job.
Guy: Is it at-
Gal: Yup and its’s-
Guy: Exactly, we called that all along and she’ll probably-
Gal: Oh, no doubt and I wonder-
Guy: I’m sure. And if not, it’ll be-
Gal: I can’t wait to see how it all goes down
So, this exchange went on for at least 30-60 seconds. Impressive since they both seemed to have a strong understanding of the information. As an outsider, and no, I don’t think they were specifically talking in code because they knew I was eavesdropping, I had no frame of reference for anything they were talking about, but they knew exactly what they were saying. I think this type of communication can only happen with two people who are truly in sync with each other and have probably been communicating with each other for a long time. I really wanted to ask them how long they had been in a relationship, but a non-creepy opportunity didn’t arrive. I think they eventually caught on to my listening and didn’t like it.
But, isn’t communication supposed to be enjoyable and be an important part of strong relationships? Their relationship communication was so effective that they didn’t even need to verbalize what they were saying. But, doesn’t that take some of the fun of talking to another person away?
Uncategorized communication, equal, rank, significance 12:40 am
So, yesterday, I tallied up how many people I received or provided communication with on Saturday and the number was far higher than what I thought it would be. My guess was 18 people, but it was actually almost 100. So, I assigned a ranking system and had to think about whether each exchange is equal.
And, after some thinking – no, not all exchanges are equal. And, I’m ok with that. Some types of communication are more important than others. It’s not necessarily a comment on the other person (even though is does work out that way regarding ‘significance’ for the most part), but some stuff is just priority compared to others. But we can’t necessarily do without, nor would we want to sometimes, the less important stuff. It reminds of old episodes of ER. They couldn’t be running around saying STAT for the whole hour or we’d become burned out as viewers. And, life and the short exchanges with the guy at the post office or the quick call to your brother to remind him about dinner, they are all part of it.
Uncategorized communication, exchange, phone, rank, talk 5:35 pm
So, my guess was that I would talk with around 18 people throughout the day yesterday. The actual number ended up being over 90. Yes, alot that communication was for work, but was surprised at how high the number actually was. I didn’t count emails and voicemails, which would have put that number over 100. I could have done with far fewer, but there seems to be no escaping communication with the people around me. Almost all of the talking was done in person, with a few exchanges occuring over the phone.
So, was each exchange equal? Absolutely not! I’ve thought about ranking recipients of my communication from yesterday. On a scale of 1 to 10, one being the least important to me and 10 being the most – I would say, out of the 90 people that I communicated with, at least 55 would rank at a three. Twenty of those people would rank at a five and the remaining fifteen would rank between eight and ten. So, I am now asking myself, was I wasting my time yesterday with my threes and fives? I’ll have to mull that over.
Uncategorized body language, communicate, noise, tone 2:22 am
For as long as I can remember, I have been fascinated by how we communicate. It’s not just talking, it’s the whole picture – body language, tone, prior experience from both sender and receiver, and the various types of noise we all deal with each day. My hopes are to pay attention to the exchanges around me and see what I can I see. Or I guess I should say, hear what I can hear.
So, how many people did you communicate with today? Yeah, we’ll I’m not sure either. So, I’m going to keep a count tomorrow and see what kind of score I rack up. It’ll be like that ‘how many jelly beans’ in the jar contest. My guess for tomorrow – 18.
