Stop using that phrase! Saturday, Jul 31 2010

So, I tried out my “it is what it is” experiment.  And, I’ll tell you, it didn’t feel good.  Each time I ended up using it, it was my fallback response when I was listening to someone else talk about something for which I had no genuine reply or when I had no other justification for my own questionable behavior.  In two of the instances, my behavior was the culprit.  In the other two instances, someone else was talking about their behavior and I wanted to cut it off.  Either way, it’s a phrase that communicates, without coming out and saying it “I’m just trying to placate you and I want to move on to another topic.  I have no solution or anything constructive to say, but I feel like I need to say something”.

Would it be better to say nothing?  I think, especially since I felt so fake after saying it and I don’t necessarily like it when someone says it to me, that it would be better to just smile and nod.  Man, oh man, language and words can be so complicated.

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What does that mean? Wednesday, Jul 28 2010

Since I’ve been examining communication, I keep hearing a sentence that I don’t understand.  Or maybe I just don’t want to understand it.  It seems to be a common response when someone doesn’t have anything else to say.  It’s like verbalizing a shoulder shrug.  The phrase -

“It is what it is”.

What does this mean?  Especially when it’s not the answer you’re looking for.  I guess it depends on who’s saying it and in what context.  I’m going to try to fit this phrase into my repertoire tomorrow at least five times.  I’ll check back…

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Eavesdropping in a Coffee Shop Monday, Jul 19 2010

I was in a coffee shop again.  I like to work in coffee shops and always have.  I think the biggest part of what I like about writing in coffee shops, other than the coffee, is the pressure to work hard and really focus on what’s in front of me.  I could stare at the other patrons and ignore my laptop, but then I’d be the creepy girl in the corner and that may not be looked upon to kindly.  I feel so strongly about where I work that I’ll drive a half-hour south just to go to a specific coffee joint.

Anyhow, as I sat in my seat, typing away, a woman came into the shop and loudly announced to everyone in the place (she was, I believe, speaking to the owner behind the counter but it was really for all to hear), “It’s so hot, I’m perspiring like a man.”  Since I’ve been posting about communication, I thought this was a great example of how communication can be unclear.  And, I must note, it wasn’t just what she said, it was how she said it.  As if she were the only person in NJ to sweat that day.  After she made this announcement, I looked up.  Several other people looked up as well.  Just like in the movies, we all looked at each other and shrugged in unison.  Collectively, we didn’t know what it meant to ‘perspire like a man’.  And this attention-seeking woman, probably had her own definition of ‘man-sweat’.  Her message was unclear and it may have even been off-putting. One sentence and I instantly disliked her.

I did find an old saying when I decided to look into the meaning of this further.  “Horses sweat, men perspire, ladies glow.”  You’ll have to take my word for it, she wasn’t glowing.

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Take notice of mistakes Monday, Jul 12 2010

we communicate with each other, verbal or written, we constantly correct ourselves.  Spell check and self-interruptions, “wait, I didn’t mean to say that”, are daily things in our lives today.  But it’s fascinating to think that one word in an important document, let’s say the Declaration of Independence, could have changed the tone and/or scope of the whole thing.  Chemists and archivists discovered that Thomas Jefferson understood the importance of editing.  Read on for this whole story, in which Jefferson initially wrote the word ‘subjects’ in the Declaration of Independence, thought twice, and replaced it with the word ‘citizens’.

Jefferson Made Slip in Declaration of Independence

One word and a world of difference.  I’ll be paying extra attention to choosing my words carefully from now on.

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Did you look at the water tower? Monday, Jul 12 2010

For everyone who couldn’t get to the Pitman water tower, here’s what it looks like now.

If you can’t make out what it says (quality of camera on phone is limited), it says “Everyone likes Pitman”.  So true.

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A Sign Mended my Pitman Heart Friday, Jul 9 2010

So, has recent signage brought back my love for this small town?  I think so.  Has anyone seen the water tower?

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A Sign Hurt My Pitman Heart Friday, Jul 9 2010

Signs communicate instructions to us.  They can be helpful, instructional, funny, irratating, frustrtating, and many other things.  New signs cause us to step back and contemplate what we did before the sign existed.

I live in Pitman, NJ.

Many who live here believe that it’s a perfect little town.  I didn’t grow up here and there are a few drawbacks (it’s a dry town, just when you really fall in love with a cute little shop-they move and something else arrives, you’re ticketed if you park on the street overnight), but overall I’ve come to love Pitman and it Norman Rockwellian appearance.

One of the phenomenon’s here that has astonished me over time is the Pitman Parade Chair Phenomenon.  Granted, other things have been confusing over the years, but the Chair Phenonmenon has  always been at the top.  The people of this wonderful town get really excited about their holidays and events.  The Fourth of July Parade is a big deal here in Pitman.  When I first moved here, I saw chairs set out in the last week of June, all down Broadway and couldn’t figure out why they were there.  Then the parade came and I realized the chairs were set out by folks who wanted to ensure a good seat.  I’ve seen dozens, maybe even a hundred chairs up and down the main drag in the days leading up to the parade.  It’s been something I’ve come to expect and enjoy about this town.

So you can imagine how sad I was when I saw this -

Now, I don’t know if this was a one time thing or if this is the way it’s going to be from now on.  But the army of chairs, all didn’t shapes and sizes, some linked with rope or labeled with notes, wasn’t part of my July 4th this year.  And with one little sign, which communicated a clear message took some of Pitman’s magic away.

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